Fear of Man

Today was hard. Not the entire day. Actually, it has been a great day (thanks for the swift change in perspective Lord!)....
As the kids awoke before 6, I had a choice. I lay in bed, trying to decide if I should get them up, tell them to be quiet for one more hour (might have worked with the dude- no way with the girl :) ), or wake Mark up and ask him to get up with them. As I lay there debating in my head, the Lord was gracious to bring a creative idea to my mind- get up and make them something special! As tired as I was, as cozy as my bed was, I got up (quietly, as not to let the munchkins know I was awake yet) and went downstairs and quickly threw together some "breakfast cake" (coffee cake). I put it in the oven, then went to retrieve my happily chatting kiddos from their beds. Markus was so excited to have "breakfast cake", and I was thrilled to enjoy some special time with my babies. Markus said to me while he was eating "Thank you for making me a special breakfast mommy. I love you." What I would have missed had I laid in bed, choosing myself over my kiddos! Thank you Lord that you reminded me what a blessing it is to give of myself, yet once again, to serve my family.

Onto the hard part of the day. I was blessed to be able to take the kids out to be with some special people in their life today. In the midst of some fun times, a conversation began that had the potential to be explosive, ugly, and hurtful. I had shared a decision Mark and I recently made in regards to Markus, one that a particular individual did not agree with and swiftly let me know. I immediately was heartbroken, and the enemy moved right in, dangling the bait of discouragement, frustration, doubt and fear right in front of me. Praise the Lord I heeded the Holy Spirit instead and was equipped to answer a harsh word with a simple "I would love to discuss this more, but I don't feel like this is the time. Can we find a time to discuss it later?", all the while claiming the truth of God's Word in Proverbs 15:1 in my heart- "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
I excused myself and went to the bathroom to pray for a minute. While I was praying, still working through the doubt, fear, anger, etc, I was reminded again of what it means to truly worship God. I committed all of those emotions to Him and chose instead to celebrate His mighty work in my life and praise Him for His faithfulness to me, regardless of what any outsider may think. After returning home, I did a quick study to claim a verse that I could store away in my heart for times when I am tempted to be swayed by man's opinion in the face of what I know God is doing in my life and what He has called Mark and I to-"The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe" (Prov 29:25). Lord, thank you that you prove yourself over and over to be so worthy of all of my trust. Please forgive me for being tempted to question that in the face of a fallen world. I claim safety in you today.